OMFG!!!!

Thirty-eight Weeks Pregnant

I have really plumped up. I weigh between 6 and 7½ pounds (boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls), and I'm nearly 20 inches long. I have a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold my hand for the first time! My organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

Wondering what colour my eyes will be? You may not be able to tell straight away. If I'm born with brown eyes, they'll probably stay brown. If I'm born with grey or blue eyes, they may stay unchanged or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time I'm nine months old. That's because my irises may gain more pigment in the months after I'm born, but they won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than grey or blue eyes.)

Last Visit to Midwife

Today was Mummy's final pre-partum midwife appointment. Everything is fine:

• My head is now fully engaged (or "brim.")
• My heartbeat is so loud that the listening device had to be placed in an adjoining room. Almost.

Thirty-seven Weeks Pregnant

I AM NOW FULL TERM! This means that if I decide I've had enough of waiting in Mummy's tummy, my lungs are fully mature and ready to adjust to life in the outside world.

I weigh a little over 6 pounds and measure just about 20" inches, head to heel. Although many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks up to 1½" long, I'm not going to give you any clues about my style or colour here. You'll just have to wait like Mummy and Daddy.

Getting Hold of Mummy

Mummy has arranged bedside Internet and telephone for her hospital stay. Posting the details here would be an invitation to spammers, so her telephone number and e-mail address are on a password protected Web page, which can be reached by clicking the link at the bottom of this post. (Please note that the phone number will only be activated when Mummy gets to her ward.)

You will be asked for a username and password.

The username is Mummy's first name. (Six letters, all lower case.)
The password is the name of the crescent where Mummy and Daddy grew up together. (Five letters, all lower case.)
If this is all a bit much to cope with, you can just call the operator on 0870 212 1234 and ask for her by name. (Calls charged at national rate.)

To access Mummy's hospital phone number and e-mail address, click HERE.

Spot the Baby

I'm in there somewhere!

Final Naming Decision

The final decision* on my names has been made by Mummy and Daddy.

• Boy: Jasper Diello Gene Withnail
• Girl: Fenchurch Alice Nancy Withnail
  

Jasper
Mummy: "We both just like this name instinctively."
Daddy: "It was the name of a character in a Terrance Dicks novel I read in 1980. Sir Jasper, as I recall. Funny how I always pictured him with black and yellow stripes."
Mummy: "It's a rather fetching stone. It's also an unusual name, but I think it's some way short of being out-and-out weird."
Daddy: "Which is more than you can say about Fenchurch!"

Fenchurch
Mummy: "Not my idea, but I like it."
Daddy: "I'll put my hands up to this one... well, I'll put Douglas Adams's hands up."
Mummy: "He it was that gave us the name Dirk. I haven't read that book though."
Daddy: "That's right; Fenchurch is a key character in the book The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But she's only mentioned in passing. She's not named until the fourth book in the trilogy."

Diello
Mummy: "We stole this name from the diary of Pauline Rieper (AKA Pauline Parker.) It was filmed as Heavenly Creatures by Peter Jackson in 1994."
Daddy: "Diello was prince of the fictional country of Borovnia, invented by Pauline and her friend Juliet Hulme. He's an appealing character because he's gallant and doesn't suffer fools gladly. On the other hand, he rampages as a toddler and continues in adulthood. As Juliet put it: 'The Queen's biggest problem is her renegade child, Diello, who has proven to be an uncontrollable little blighter who slaughters his nannies whenever the fancy takes him!'"
Mummy: "I have to live with this."

Alice
Daddy: "Literary again. In between asking the young Alice Liddell if he could possibly borrow a pair of her panties to mop his sopping brow, the incomparable Reverend Dodgson (AKA Lewis Carroll) created one of the most enduring female characters of English literature. I believe her to be a seminal gothic herione too."
Mummy: "I believe you are being a pretentious prat. Alice is simply a nice name. It looks nice written down and sounds nice too. And the chavs are so busy with Jasmine and Chardonnay that they haven't noticed it."

Gene
Daddy: "Anything happens to this car and I'm gonna come round yer house and stamp on all yer toys!"
Mummy: "He means he got the idea from Life on Mars."

Nancy
Mummy and Daddy: "SIDNEY!!!"
Baby: "If you need it explained, you wouldn't approve and had better get beck to The Archers. That's what Daddy's done!




* (Opinions not invited.)

Thirty-six Weeks Pregnant

I am still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. I now weigh almost 6 pounds and am a little under 19 inches long. I'm shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered my body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected my skin during my nine-month amniotic bath. I swallow both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture called meconium which will form the contents of my first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, I will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.)

Hospital Appointment

Today Mummy and Big Brother Dirk took me to the hospital on the bus. Daddy met us there. We had to see the Doctor for a routine 36 week check-up.

The Doctor measured Mummy's tummy and said I am right on track, size wise. He also felt my head and then he let Mummy and Daddy feel it too. (My head is four-fifths engaged.)

After that, everyone listened to my heartbeat. It was 168 beats per minute. The Doctor was pleased with me and Mummy, so we don't need to go back to the hospital until the day before I am due to be born.

Mummy's Bump

Thirty-five Weeks Pregnant

I don't have much room to manoeuvre now that I'm over 18 inches long and tip the scales at 5 pounds plus. Because it's so snug in here, I'm not likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times I kick should remain about the same. My kidneys are fully developed now, and my liver can process some waste products. Most of my basic physical development is now complete — I'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Penultimate Midwife Appointment

Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother Dirk took me to the midwife this morning. She prodded Mummy's tummy, so I kicked her! Apparently the prodding was to find out whether I am head-up or head-down. It would have been much easier to check http://babywithnail.blogspot.com/2007/10/position-update.html or type position in the search box at the top of the page.

The midwife used a special machine so that they could all listen to my heart. (Again, they could have just gone to http://babywithnail.blogspot.com/2007/07/heartbeat_30.html, or typed heartbeat in the search box.)

Mummy had to have an injection in her bottom. I think it must have hurt. The midwife made an appointment to poke me some more on 28 October. I'm looking forward to meeting everybody properly soon. Only thirty-two days... if I can wait that long!

Position Update

I have wriggled and pushed and am now lying head-downward in Mummy's tummy. Ready when you are, World.